Most often in December I take time to reflect over the last 11 months and I consider the lessons that I have been presented with, the difficulties that have come up, and I also look for the good that has kept me going when times are tumultuous as they have been for me this year. I don't know about anyone else, but I can say that this truly has been one of the most difficult years that I have faced and trust me I've had some rough years.
This year I have struggled with grief that I have not experienced before- having lost multiple family members, including my last surviving parent, as well as a friend, and within my own home my two senior cats. If you know me, then you already know that losing my cats would have been enough to put me in a tailspin...never mind all of the other grief that has been part of my life this year. One thing that I have come to understand how about grief is how it exists just below the surface and on the days when you think you're really okay and you're moving ahead somehow it manages to rear up and catch you off guard, pulling you back down into a place of mire and muck. I have felt that from the beginning of the year right through to now and I am sure I will continue to feel this as we move into 2025 because the grief takes a lot of processing and is not something like laundry that you just fold and put away.
As I head into January and the 10-year anniversary of having lost my mom as well as losing my dad this year, I realized that both of those major events in my life occurred with very specific time frames - and there really is a lesson in that. My mom passed 2 days before I celebrate my birthday, and my dad passed on the day of my wedding anniversary. The lesson that I want to bring forward to you is to recognize that many times, grief occurs around important dates in our lives - and this is significant because there is truly a reason. This happens so that when those dates reoccur every year, the people we have lost can continue to be involved in our celebrations - just as they would have done if they were still with us. They leave us on those dates so we will continue to remember and invite them to attend the happy times and to think of them with love, not sadness, as we move forward.
If you read the Facebook post that I shared leading you here, you will also begin to realize that our loved ones leave us wanting us to know they are present and needing us to understand that they would readily hold us and hug us during our most grieving moments. If you are having difficulty, as I am this year, the one thing I want you to know as you walk through these holidays and celebrations, is that your crossed over loved ones show themselves to you in a myriad of ways - all you need to do is look for the signs.
As I close this chapter of a deeply challenging year, I hope my reflections resonate with those of you who are also navigating grief and loss. Remember, the people we love remain with us in spirit, woven into the fabric of our lives, showing up in subtle, beautiful ways when we need them most. As we move into 2025, may we all find strength in their presence, joy in our memories, and peace in knowing that love never truly fades—it transforms, becoming a source of light that guides us forward. Here’s to a year of healing, hope, and embracing the love that surrounds us, even in the hardest times. ❤️
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